Saturday, December 31, 2005

Boring Saturday

So after the Horrors of Entrelac, I have just been working on a scarf while I have been lazing about. On Thursday I made about 6 feet of scarf while watching the Bourne Identity, then I frogged it Friday morning. I worked on it again Friday and frogged it again on Saturday. This morning (Saturday morning!) I started workingo n it again, and decided to keep it. It's a plain ole' garter stitch, done while sitting on the couch. Dude, have you seen The Soup's clip-off ? Hilarious!

So yeah, the scarf... garter stitch, done in Lion Brand Wool Ease thick 'n quick with US 13's (bamboo, natch). the scarf itself is kinda boring, even if it is like 10 feet long (hey, what can I say? when it comes to scarves I'm a size queen). So when I got to the end, I dropped a stitch and then worked it free down it's length.

I blocked it to stop it from corkscrewing around when I wore it, and the Virgin Mary TOTALLY approved of it!

I like the little ladder-y look of it, and thought it would look nice with some fancy yarn woven between the ladder-y bits, so I busted out some Bernat Bling-Bling, yo! And then, Eww! Or, in French: Iue!

So I took the bling out andwill probably wear this thing out to a New Year's eve party that we're going to in a little while... So, g'night everyone, and have a wonderful holiday :)

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Horrors of Entrelac, part 1

The entrelac! Oh,the horror of it all! Oh, Internet, I wish I could show you pictures of what happened to my entrelac trial, but I can't find my trusty digital camera (I think I left it in Rich's car, it's probably hiding under the seat).

Something went wrong, but not horribly wrong. My entrelac looks nothing at all like the picture I posted in my previous entry (that was just a google image search results, I'm not that gifted). No no no, not at all like that. I think I skipped ahead and when I should have been doing left hand edge squares I did right hand squares, and then vice versa, and hell I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden I have 8 stitches on a needle that previously had 48!!

Okay, so I look at this thing, and it looks like a freaky elf hat. Then it looks like a bouquet from land where homos have never heard of Marth (Wyoming??), and THEN it's looking to me like the Norse tree of life!! So what does a quarter norwegian homo do?? Breaks out the chibi and knits that shit up into a sculpture! I'm gonna stuff it and do *something* with it. Really, it's kind of cool looking, I just wish that:

A. I had meant to do that.
B. I could remember what exactly I did.
C. That I had heat vision.

I need to take an entrelac class at my LYS; I'm really a kinesthetic learner (learn by doing!), but with this I think I need to see it done and not rely on just a book. Sometimes I have to read instructions a few times, dig around the abbreviation list at the back, then read a few more times... The p1 fb instruction confuses me; I'm 70% sure I'm doing that wrong. Oh, and SSK ? Huh-wha? I need something to soothe my soul, so maybe I'll make a quick scarf. I want to do a drop stitch scarf in black ad weave in some recycled silk that I got at the local toy store (yes, the toy store carries recycled silk, how cool is that?).

I have a friend who works there (at the toy store), and she loves my KO's...she has a few hats and a scarf- her ladyfriend would probably appreciate a scarf too, so maybe I'll just whip one out for her tonight. Or maybe I'll go price some knitting machines... anyone have any recommendations?

ps- I'll post some "horrors of entrelac" photos sometime soon, I promise!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Oh, my achin' skull

Okay, because I love you folks, I will share something special with you. If you are trying to "figure out" entrelac (you know, because you're the only person capable of doing so), DO NOT think that an amaretto sour will somehow aid in the process. I don't know if it's the amaretto or the math that's making my head hurt now, but something needs to stop killing me. Oh wait... cedar is in full effect here. Argh, I need to move to a less allergen-y area.

to make a long and boring story short and somewhat interesting, I will tell you that I *did* get the hang of it, but my squares are somewhat oddly shaped, and I didn't really follow the very strict guidelines set forth by the gay french gods of entrelac, so they're all wonky, like little gnome hats made by little drunk gnomes.

But hey, internet! I did get the hang of it. Okay, not "it" in "it's" entirety, but I did get the hang of knitting the base triangles, and hey, that's important, right? Remember folks, I taught myself how to knit from a book. FROM THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL STORE! And this was just a year ago, so hey, cut me some slack. Damn internet, back off.

I'd post some pics of the hat I just finished, but it was kinda boring. I do have some neat pics of the bind off of the scarf that I gave Rich's mom for X-Mess, but they're actually not neat and are rather boring. Surriously. So yeah... I'll work on entrelac some more, and then maybe I'll post some pictures, okay Internet? Okay. See ya later. Apropos of nothing, here are some super fine ladies in hats, enjoy!

If you're asking yourself "Self, WWJD?" the answer is "hit it."

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Christmas gift summary

I tried to make as many gifts as I could this year, because I'm poor. Well, not really poor, but I do have an expensive fiber habit to support... I made that muppet scarf for Rich, and well... I'm not sure that he likes it. You know, that's fine with me, since I like it and will definitely wear it (My moebius scarf is wool. I chose it because it's beautiful...I guess that's what I get for buying winter wool in July and not taking it for a test drive...but I digress). I made a hat for his mother, and am in the process of finishing up the coordinating scarf. Honestly, the scarf started as a way to use up the last of the hat yarn left over from the giant hat-making orgy that was November as I prepared for a holiday gift bazaar that I was showing at. I would have finished last night if Rich hadn't insisted on seeing King Kong. Dude, I laughed so hard when the dinosauruses were trying to eat Naomi Whatever while they were all trapped in the vines! so! funny!

Where was I? Oh yeah..hat and scarf. I gave a few hats away here at work (I can whip out a beanie-style cap in a few hours, and sometimes just make one while I'm watching a movie or wh ile we're driving to San Antonio) and also a few to some folks on my softball team. I'm also going to make some sugar scrubs for someone at work who emailed me last night- stocking stuffers made by homos, who KNOW how to stuff stockings, yo (see photo at left).

I guess what I should do is figure what I'd like to knit for whom, and begin working on projects a little more than a month before the actual holiday. I WOULD like to tackle some projects that have been on my mind for a while. I need a new sweater, and I think that would be a good time to take on the great beast Intarsia. But what design/logo should I use? Any suggestions??

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Things that have been said about me...

Hi folks :) With the holiday season looming right on the horizon, I thought I would look back and think about some of the things that have been said about me...let's begin!

It's been said that:

I put the "dream" in Dreamsicle. I had absolutely nothing to do with either Cream or Fudge-sicle.

I make the best chocolate chip cookies in the western hemisphere. Totally true.

A crone visited me on the day of my birth, but they're not sure if she cursed me or everyone around me. Tee hee.

If you multiply the length of my thumbnail by the width of the bridge of my nose, you will have a prime number that will allow you to crack the Da Vinci Code, The Code of Hammurabi, and the Lost Language of the Cranes.

I am an enigma inside a mystery wrapped in a tortilla. With a side of guacamole and sour cream on some days.

I want to put that where?? (also: you can't be serious! {and then "okay"})

My favorite color is pink, for sure. (but it's not- it's not even in the top 5. It's green, btw)

That I have the best ass below 14th street.

That I should use my inside voice.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Why FiberDork?

I dig me some yarn, yo, but I'm not an elitist. I don't require that everything be handspun, or hand dyed, or be 100% Unicorn. I just like all kinds, In fact, I really really dig synthetics. A friend of mine was over and when she stumbled over my stash of yarn, she said "oh my god, I think I found your treasure trove, wow, you're like some kind of fiberdork aren'tcha?"

And it stuck. I'm not a yarn snob, just a dork for the fiber. Oooh, sweet fiber, how I love you.

So we bought stinky candles today while we were doing some christmas shopping, and we found some neat ones... Autumn Fig is really great, but we also got Fresh Picked Cotton and Vanilla + Cashmere. The Vanilla + Cashmere is really really nice, ya know? It's burning in the living room, just a few feet away from me...

Okay, I go now...we bought ourselves some fancy new glasses and I think I gotta have a holiday cocktail. Stay warm, Internet!

Holiday party with the yogis

I wish I could maintain my supercool internet blogchild exterior and make fun of the hippies that I hung out with tonight, but I really can't. The people that I work really and truly feel the amazingness that is the human condition, and I can't make fun of that because I feel it too.

I laughed my ass off tonight- I laughed so hard that my throat jumped out of my body and told me that it hated me for making it laugh so hard. Seriously- it was amazing! I would show you pictures, Internet, but there aren't enough pictures to capture the hilarity. I would like to say that I feel special for holding the role that I do. I got to talk, and people know who I am, not because I'm such an amazing knitter, or an amazing yogi, but they know me because I'm just chatty. I'm me, they're who they are, and we all had fun tonight. I came home with an artichoke sculpture, a dvd, and some juice. Yum.

Really, I'm a lucky guy, and I know that. Y'all are lucky too, and hopefully you know it as well.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Death by Scarf

I'm not going to post a picture of the mother in law scarf because I'm not talking to it right now. I hate that scarf, it bores me. I think I'm going to frog it, because you know what, Internet? I don't like it. Yeah, I'm frogging that bitch tonight and restarting it.

Here's Rich wearing his new scarf. Now, I'm totally not telling him to hide his face, he didn't even know I was going to show this to the World Wide Webs 'n stuff. But he did, so that's what you get.

The scarf. Oh my. So. Gay. I'm so glad that I live with him, so I can borrow it. Interesting factoids about our relationship:

1. We've been together for almost 8 years.

2. Our relationship is powered by clean burning natural gas. We have to filter it through kitten stomachs though.

Also- he was eaten alive by the scarf shortly after that picture was taken. I'm a widow. Bring on the boys and cheap domestic beer! Yeehaw!

So have I mentioned that I'm a yoga teacher? My initial training has been in Ashtanga yoga (trained locally by Sharon Moon, also by Manju Jois, Mark Darby, and soon to train with David Swenson), Hatha flow yoga, Gentle yoga, and Prenatal yoga. So yeah, that's a big part of my life, because I also work in the center; my life centers around serving the people I meet in any way that I can. Sometimes it's teaching yoga, sometimes it's vacumming the floor so that we never look messy. One of my students brought me a gift today and said "I'm so much healthier and happier now, this is just a small something to say thank you."

It's a silk wall hanging... very pretty. Touching too. It's really pretty cool to have people tell me that, hey Chuck, you're on the right path. Goddamnit Internet, YOU HAD ME AT HELLO!

Also, a friend of mine is moving to Jerusalem. JA-ROO-SELL-UM, folks at home! She's a teacher also, has been a student of mine for 3 years, and we had a mentorship thing going on while she was in teacher training. We're close, and grew as teachers together. Ugh, going to miss her! I knitted her a headband using yarn that the yoga center owners gave me on my birthday as well as some yarn that she gave me for that same birthday. Dag, I should have taken pictures of it for you, Internet.

Okay, before I go frog that scarf... I'm going to have to find something pretty to wear to a company holiday party. These are always fun, I'm so looking forward to it. I'm thinking of actually wearing real wool slacks, and not just cotton pants. Oh my! I will feel like a pretty, pretty princess, just like the picture below

She's pretty! And also of debatable talent (melisma is nice, but cut down on it, pleasenthanks). So. Sparkly. Just like my dreams!


I finished Rich's scarf on Monday. I'm torn on it... part of me thinks that it's kinda fug, but a bigger part of me thinks "Oooh, Fraggle pelt! it's awesome!"

He likes it, that's what matters, right? I started his mom's scarf. I will admit to using ONLY fibers found at Joann fabrics. I dig 'em. They're fancy, and also synthetic... I love it when something is both soft and washable. And also- I've been caught in the rain in a wool scarf. Not only are they heavy when they get soaked, but they s-t-r-e-t-c-h and need a good blocking if they're ever gonna be wearable again. But I digress...

Her scarf is purple, and stripey, and fringey. I'll post a pic of it after I get more of it done, as well as a pic of Rich in his new scarf. For now Internet, I leave you with this knit-trocity from the past...

This is so fug, but I would totally wear it. Commando, of course.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Some fiber, a little dork too

I've been meaning to reorganize my stash, and since I don't want to work on my current scarf (you know, since it's almost done I just can't be bothered...) I thought I would do that. So I have three stashes- good stash, medium stash, and acrylic stash inherited from my mom last winter. Good stash lives in a schmancy little yarn project bin on "my side" of the sofa. Yeah, it's pretty damn nelly, but hey- it actually matches my brocade living room curtains in color AND pattern (almost exactly on the pattern, but dead on in color). So yeah... I had lots of stuff in there that needed to go to the medium-good quality stash hideout, which is the armoire in the guest room. Coincidentally, that's where I hide my comic books after I read them.

Some of the yarn I kept in the pretty stash bin, but most of it went bye bye since I don't have a lot of some of it. Some day I'll get bored and make a pillow out of scraps, but until then I'll just pack them away in the armoire.

The medium good stash didn't get organized today, mainly because I don't have a lot of medium good stuff. I have a lot of handspun and kettle dyed remnants, and some synthetics that I love... I gotta say, but Joann Fabric's angel hair is nice. It's not hard to work with, it's easy on the hands, and it's just so soft. Mmmm, washable too. I have some bits of in blue, dark green, light green, and purple. MIL is getting a scarf that is partially dark purple angel hair.

Oh, delicously citrusy mohair, why must you be so scratchy? I will find small glass squares and sandwich you between them, because hey,that would be the rockinest coaster ever.

You really can't take me shopping anywhere, you know? I tried to go Xmess shopping today, and while at Williams Sonoma I couldn't stop dancing! They played Culture Club and Pat Benatar, so I really can't be blamed for it, right internet? My 'tumble for you' dance was good, but (here's where I dork out, internet, watch for it) I know the "love is a battlefield" choreography and I did it in the martini glass aisle. Shimmy-shimmy, stalk-stalk-stalk, FOSSE! I hope to jesus that I wasn't security camera'd. Because I'd hate to be caught on film doing something crazy, like, I dunno, modeling a feather trimmed throw blanket inside Neiman Marcus or something...

Um, that's not me? Okay, it's my twin, he's not only dorkier, but also gayer. F'real. Dang, y'all aren't buying that, are you?

See, I told you not to take me shopping...

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Where's my motivation?

I'm so. close. to being done with the scarf that I'm making for my partner. He picked out the yarn hisself, so he better like it. I'm sure he will though...I like it a lot myself and will probably gank it a few times (that's one of the perks of waking up early).

Don't skip ahead for more details yet, folks- let's talk about this scarf. It's a scarf. Plain ole garter stitch. I'm SO. BORED. WITH IT. I think that's why I'm so tired of working with it. And you know what's next when I'm done with this one? ANOTHER SCARF. His mom wants a scarf for Christmas... She's been on me since last Christmas when I showed up with my monstrous scarf (It was 11 feet long, it was AWESOME. I wore it to a party last winter and the hostess loved it, so I gave it to her. Eh, I can make more. But I digress...). So yeah, more scarves on the horizon. Ugh.

The little fuzzy bits that stick out look kinda like foxtails. I wasn't sure how it would look when it was knit, but it turns out it that it looks like I've skinned a fraggle. This is a two ply yarn; a variegated boucle and another strand that is just black nylon with the little foxtail-y flags on it. It's not hard to work with, but I do have to stop and pull the flags out after every few rows (they get caught up in the knitting, you see).

My cat has totally demolished that bench too. Kinda sad, because it's a nice little mercer bench by mitchell gold. Oh well, as long as the cat leaves my yarn stash alone, then I'm good, right? Yeah, I knew that you'd agree with me, internet. Are you ready for some more detail? Yeah, let's do it!

It really will be a great looking scarf when it's done, I just really need to buckle down and do it. The scarf for his mom should be done US10's, but I will probably go for 13's... the fibers I'm using are pretty forgiving, so it should look fine, and I really just want to get it done so that I can get on to other things. I'm hoping to work on an intarsia project- I want a baby blue cardigan with Mr Rogers' on it, el Che style.

I bought a little spool knitter, aka french knitter, aka knitting nancy. I am here to tell you, Internet, that it's not as easy as I thought it would be. I'll keep it the glovebox and play with it on long drives. Is it really worth it though? That's what I'll be thinking the whole time. Okay, now I'm really going to start working on that fraggle scarf...

Here I am, folks.

yeah, I have a boner for yarn. Synthetics that are soft and fluffy totally make me into Traci Lords. But did I mention? I have a penis! and I knit!
I know, I know... how many sticks does a guy need, yo?? I'm the only guy that knits that I know, but I hear friends say things like "my husband knits", but the husband never wants to hang with the raging homo who wants to talk about kettle dyed peruvian (jeebus, it sounds like I'm talking about heroin, right?).
So yeah, this here's my blog, yo. I've kept a personal one for almost seven years, making me old school. I won't tell you where and who I am, because hey! it's personal, bitches! Stay tuned for more on my raging hard on for yarn and pictures of shit that I'm working on. Yay!